Though I tend towards reactions based on my training in the Theater of the Absurd, I don't actually get in to that many arguments. And my interactions with the staff at Kodo Chinese Food take-out don't count because I was the only one yelling. I hate them. They suck.
Moving on. After some sensitive contemplation, I think the last bonafide argument I had was with a doctor at Anne Arundel Medical Center in the emergency room. I was there with my neighbor Leon. He had recently lost a fight with gravity and fractured a vertebrae, if memory serves. Leon is no spring chicken - but he is a remarkably sharp 90 year old who has crap hearing. #ItHappens. But when you are in the hospital and they are offering you various treatments strategies it helps to be able to hear the options.
I walked in after having gone to get us coffee's - we had been in the ER for about 7 hours - and I see that they are pretending to have a meeting with Leon. He looks up from the bed like "what the hell are these idiots talking about?" I ask them what is going on and they ask me if I'm related. I pause too long because the nurse is looking at the paper on the clipboard she is carrying and I feel like she has the answer written there - which is impossible. Eventually I say that it shouldn't matter because the patient approved my attendance on the set of House today. They take offense to the House joke (possibly because it is not clear which of them will play the lead) and they make efforts to vamoose me and work one-on-one with Leon.
I pivot the conversation to why they are now attempting to talk to a 90 year old man that they took the hearing aids from. I ask where the hearing aids are. They admit they have misplaced them. I take that toe hold and lay into them about patient advocacy. It was all very Norma Rae.
Long and short of it was that they underestimated my spectrum of medical bullshit having worked at Discovery Health for many years, I completely confused them and made them find the hearing aids and replace the batteries. But it was a Call and Return of yelling there for a while.
Leon was delighted. "Better than TV." I told him I had just given them approval for him to have a hysterectomy. He giggled.