We do not understand the whole "Team Figure Skating" concept.
I have inadvertently made the Olympics more interesting for my son by making off-hand comments at the TV that would lead one to believe that members of former Soviet Block nations who mess up during their performance ... will later be shot. To support my argument I mentioned something about a prior World Cup Team that returned to South America after losing. For some reason I believe Escobar killed them all.. but I may be making up this whole story in my head. I think I saw an ESPN documentary on this once. Lack of facts has not slowed me down much though.
So I keep pointing out Putin and my son keeps asking if people who fall down on the ice will be killed later.
When he's not doing that he is sitting... looking totally nonplussed .. watching the TV with the sound effects box I got him 3 Christmases ago in his hand. And when a figure skater falls he randomly pushes one of the 30 buttons. I want to tell him to stop but it is ab-so-lute-ly hysterical. It's like Looney Toons meets-ESPN-meets- TMZ. It is insulting and wrong... but awfully funny. I told him to put it away, but he pretended to be a loaf of bread that couldn't hear me. It's an incredibly effective front.
Once again I am upset with the Olympic commentators that say things like,
"It has to be hard to compete when you know you have no chance for a medal."
I hate them. Bob Costas - that is karma in your eye. And you know it.
Why do figure skaters always pick panty hose that completely don't match their skin type? Is that on purpose? It really bothers me.
My son keeps mentioning how short the skirts are. I have advised him to pretend they are swimsuits with ruffle flourishes. This works for him.
I would like the opportunity to try ski jumping and snow boarding. I suddenly feel like I have led a sheltered life. And I have been chased by elephants. But seriously - I want to fly like that.
I know I could do it. At least once.