So last weekend was all about re-connecting with friends and family. I met up with my sister at Eastern Market downtown.
I put on a nice summer linen dress to show her I was not always a slob (she is normally very well dressed) and met her for brunch at at French cafe at one end of the market. I had a gorgeous asparagus and goat cheese omelette and proceeded to fall into a heat induced flop sweat that showed all patrons and sidewalk passer by's the orientation of not only my armpits but the line of my spine down to the buttock region. It is upsetting what linen can do when it turns on you. You spend so much money trying to look cool and carefree in it and makes an ass out of you. She eventually stopped me at the brunch table to ask "are you okay? You just dripped sweat on to your plate."
" well no. Thank you for asking. I am in full flop sweat due to the poor French air conditioning and the orientation of my backside to this 3000 degree window behind me. If you love me you will walk directly behind me out of this oven and get me to somewhere with actual fucking AIR. I have gigantic thigh sweat marks due to the vinyl nature of my seat covering. I look as if I have had an accident." knowing that my sister actively avoids embarrassing situations she paid the bill and took me out of doors.
We departed as moist friends and from there I dropped by my dear friend Alyssa's house who was mercifully 4 blocks away and a known abuser of freon. While I was there taking liberal advantage of her cold beverages and luxuriant indoor furniture I received a call that my aunt had passed away.
Though some had hoped that she would find a merciful expiration in coming weeks - it was still a shock. Even more of a mental jolt when I found myself tasked with the duty of informing her brother, my father, of the news.
I remember ringing their house phone expecting him not to answer - which is his norm.
"I pay for the phone - therefore it is an employee of mine - I answer it only out of boredom or mild curiosity. The phone works for me. As does the message machine. I let them do their job."
Unfortunately I must have caught him in a moment of boredom, seeing as he answered. And I was momentarily paralyzed at the realization that I was telling a person that their closest living relative had died. Telling a brother that their only sister was no longer.
Suffice to say that there was not a lot of needless conversation.
It is times like this where you see the anguish of getting older. The years clean your closet and dictate what is your emotional makeup.
It was a huge loss to humanity that people will no longer get to bask in the light of my aunt's humor, strength and perspective. She made up a large part of who I am. How I see the world and honestly how I make my way with people who don't think I am that necessary. Her story is a long journey of humor and goodness that would be inspiring to any great writer. 'Good always prevails' is the spoiler.
The next day I was set to give my notice at work. I would be moving on to another job. But not being a person that job hops a lot - I was guilt stricken at the task. I felt I was letting people down by leaving. So it was helpful that I almost died twice on the way into work on my commute in as it totally distracted me from the self loathing. My announcement was met with a sigh and some very nice words from very hardworking, good people. It was unfortunate that I had the task of orientating a brand new employee the very same day.
"Welcome! We are so excited you are here! (you will soon learn that I am jerk and a defector) but there is so much great work here (that I will try to overly document before my departure that I cannot tell you about yet). Welcome!!!"
So I drove home a jerk - but with less commuting carnage. Then knowing that my healthcare was on a short lease I decided to get a look at my foot which has been aching for almost a week and went to a nighttime medical center. I was sure it was a bruised bone - for which I was aiming to get a referral to a podiatrist. And the very nice (slightly drunk and very bored) doctor told me that I had actually fractured my heel and put me on crutches. I told them I knew how to use crutches and would not wear the soft cast they offered (seriously - those things stink up a storm in 95 degree heat). And fast forward 24 hours to when I am openly admitting that I LIED about knowing how to use crutches and was a car wreck of humanity laying on my bed eating advil as if it was a plate of beans with a spoon. The (mis-use of) crutches ended up causing WAY more pain than the fractured heel and I was actively googling CVS over the counter medical supplies just to try and re-orient my vertebrae and find a bulk purchasing option for pain killers.
It turns out that I am old and dumb. Who knew? (I mean besides everyone else).
Fast forward 24 hours and the fortress of my computing power melted down and found me at the verge of tears at the Apple store. I was holding my laptop like it was an infant that had been run over by a car. I had lost all light conversational skills and took on a desperate air of a person who had recently lost their passport, and wallet and bra and eyeglasses while in a car wreck during a tornado with a supernatural edge. No linen was required for me to look as bad as I did and I give credit to my boyfriend who saw this desperation in me and took off his morning of work to hold my hand through what would eventually just be me losing my wallet and conversational skills. News flash: Apple should not be confused with affordable. But god bless Time Machine and the Asian that installed it on my machine without my knowledge.
God bless Yenny Louie.
So it has been a trying week. Full of pain killers and un-deserved diet breaking cupcakes. I spent friday with some amazing adoptable dogs and people whom I would be better not ever losing contact with.
But life is change.
And I am again finding myself sitting writing about life while having the benefit of sitting in it's safe hands. Surrounded by fathers worthy of celebrating, typing away in my nice little garden with my faithful hound partially asleep in the cushioned chair next to me. Wishing that everybody had the buoyancy of which my story has. I am lucky. May the materials of which you are all made of have you rise to the top of life's water levels.