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Crofton, MD, 21114

A long-running personal blog shared by two authors with completely different approaches to life. And a lot of large, beautiful photographs of dogs and nature and places we've traveled to. Rich in commentary and irreverant in style. 


We started blogging a long time ago. Our work hours never aligned with recommended psychotherapists and we needed to get our thoughts out. We are great friends, total opposites and long-time housemates. This was a way to communicate. With each other. With strangers. With consumer marketers. With sub-par meteorologists. With distant friends who wanted to see pictures of stuff we were up to.

This is the place. Our bucket of thoughts to share. You are welcome. 
(We realize that most of you are here for the dog pictures.)

Vegas: Found and then Lost


Yenny got us on the right plane. Then on the right shuttle. And in this case – two rights DO make another right because we ended up at the Wynn.  Sadly Yenny ended up at Harrah’s. But I made her spend most of her time at the Wynn.

We had the nicest room. It loomed above the city.

See that little writing table. That was where I was going to write EVERY DAY. (blink)

I think a lot of people regard Vegas as the pinnacle of what is wrong with America. Tacky, greedy, egotistic sun worshipers with no taste in fashion and less interest in their mate than their cell phone. And that may still be there. But people have not seen how BIG this place has gotten. There are individual cities dedicated to every European sub-culture. And the range of places along the strip is just flat out decadent.

The Spa at the EncoreWe walked f o r e v e r. But the things we saw along the way were amazing. This is not the Vegas shithole of yester year. This is now the Taj Mahal of South Western America. I have to be honest that I have only been out here three times now.

And the First time was for a 24 hour period where the toilet in my crap hotel exploded and I had to be relocated at 3am. Nothing like standing in your jammies on the game floor waiting on your room.

The last time we went we stayed at the Belaggio. And that was really nice too. Mainly because of the fountain. I love the fountain. But this time I had heard that the Wynn was newer and better. So of course I chose that. I am a hotel snob. And damn proud of it.

So this adorable little concierge named Josh at the Wynn starts talking up their light show like it's better than butter. And I of course need to see it. So I tell my Asian friend we should see it (Bryant is off at the Mirage playing a poker tournament) and she logs that time and place into the vacation algorithm - I shit you not the girl has a spreadsheet running in there at all times. So we got this great seat on the terrace and watched.

So clearly there is a different scale of lightshow going on. On the left you have magnificence. You have 100 high-powered jet fueled hydraulic CANNONS releasing in time to some of Frank Sinatra greatest hits with a bacground of shimmering gold lights and splendor. And on the right you have... what I explained to Yenny was "The story of the sperm". And the timing was pretty accurate to that story as well... because if you blinked it was over. Poor Josh. Such a fricking LIAR.

But back to the gambling.

I clearly have about 3 simultaneous conditions going on that would SURELY have me dead if I was left in Las Vegas for more than 5 days. I would never make it 5 full days come to think of it. I have an obsessive compulsive thing. "Hey lets go back to the slots." "I want to go back to the slots." "Do you want to play some slots?" "I'll be over there if you need me.""No I am staying here. You go find something that makes you as happy as I am right now. Be gone. Good luck. Staying."

Then I have an ADHD thing. "ooooh look at that fishing game. I loooove it. [cashout]" "What is that one? It has a lobster on it. I love Lobsters! Hello lucky Lobster. {5 seconds pass}[cashout]""LOOOOOOK it's Dirty Dancing! Hurray! I hate that movie  - let's play that game. Nobody puts baby in the corner!" Why isn't this game louder. I want it to be louder.""Do you know what I just realized? I was pressing the Max Bet button the whole time thinking it was Repeat Bet. I am so stoopid."[cashout]"Where is the Wizard of Oz machine. I hate that movie, too. But who doesn't love the Slot Machine Glenda? " "Ohhh it's the fishing Game! Hello fishie fishie!! Gimme some BONUS BONUS BONUS action little fishie."

And then clearly - anyone with the above two issues is going to have a hard time compensating when they are being served a $1 gin and tonic every 10 minutes. So there is your package. I am an obsessively happy asshat who has been WAY over served and is unaware of what time of day it is or why she is ever sitting where she is sitting. Oh, I should also mention that when we were in Sam's town playing Bingo (total set up - never get the Giant Rainbow sheet. It will make you cry in public) I saw Yenny making fun of people would organized their players cards onto a lanyard. So I got THE CHEAPEST tackiest plastic lanyard card holder and put all of my cards on it. Yenny cringed every time I pulled it out. Once it actually got stuck on something in my purse and snapped back to hit me square in the forehead as this waitress was attempting to take our order. Klassy. I also made Yenny play every game at full volume because "it was luckier". But we all know I do that shit just to watch Yenny be annoyed and internally questioning the validity of a suggested superstition. :) Asians are so funny.

I actually need to thank both of my travelling companions for their level of patience with me. They sat and sat with me as I played. We are talking Olympic levels of patience. Part of me wonders if they were afraid to leave me because I would be mugged. But that's doubtful. There were much richer - much dumber people not 5 feet from me at the craps table.

Us at the airport So there may be some bullshit story coming out about how "Healey went off the grid. Blah blah. Missing. Blah blah dead. Police."

Well that's all just 'Yenny being crazy again!'

Long and short of it was that I made the plane. And am now safely at home. But I am still hearing the ding ding noises in my head. And as I slowly unpack my bags  - well it's a bit like Christmas in there. Not sure who shopped for these lovely treats. But it strikes me that they had wonderful taste in Jo Malone perfumes and Sworovski jewelry and Keihl's body products. And I'd like to thank them very much for that

... and for the contents of my change purse.

(fuck yeah!)