Remember that scene in "Love Actually?"... at the school play when Hugh Grant and that pretty ex-former-secretary of the prime minister kissed backstage? Well, remember when they drove to the Christmas Pageant in the Jaguar/motorcade with a paper mache lobster kid in between them, while they tried to exchange feelings amongst all the violently loud holiday spirit (and anti-Americanism)?
Well, I do. And when my son told me that this girl (sparkle) named Juliet (sparkle sparkle) was in a play at school that we HAD to see. Well, my heart went immediately back to "Love Actually". For god's sake - Colin Firth was in it!
So I bought my child tickets to the performance of Alice in Wonderland at his school. "Presented to you in the cafeteria...by .. Land Rover and Charles Schwab... and the American Coalition of the Arts". Maybe. And I had high hopes. This was going to be sooo charming. I dressed Seamus in something a bit 'urabn chic' (effort lost on everyone there) and he decided to take his sketchbook with his pencil to draw the sets. (oh be still my heart). He looked adorable. When we got there, he took off to sit with the short people up front. It was so exciting. I'm a Parent! I'm active in my childs life! So exciting.
At intermission, Bryant woke me up and I was like "IS IT OVER?" "no." "..ugh. Where is my kid?" "You mean the only militant looking child-model in our midst? He's over there pretending to study something intently."
I cocked my head slightly as I took in his efforts to appear aloof.
I had some issues with my first school play. Issues that - if spoken aloud - could have me ending up as the accidentally-self-volunteered set director of the next school play. I was sensitive to know where to stop talking. I have no free time. I can't afford to accidentally assume another job. Beside - their obvious need was in AUDIO. (you have no idea).
I spent the second half of the performance eating out of my handbag and re-applying forgotten lipsticks. Bryant noted that 6 people (in the dark) around us, had Navy apparel on. Mmm hmm. So after we found our young Robbert Pattison, we moved into the hallway. Where - there must have been some earlier committee meeting that we missed, but - every child in a three mile raduis was lined up against the corridor wall... ready to give or get autographs.
I just walked Seamus right up to the girl that played Alice - I had to hand it to her - she was the only talent I saw and she remembered ALL of her lines (I even heard some). She was somewhat worthy of envy. (Juliet eneded up looking like she was 4 years old and already needed to be on What not to Wear.) I could arrange that - but seriously - let's get out of here. Mommy just had a leaded soda and two cookies and is working on 2 hours sleep. We need to be audi.
Turns out "Alice's" real name is Colleen and you get a free smiley face with her autograph. My words of wisdom to shorty on the way to the car were "Aim high - she has to be in 6th grade. Make a name for yourself. You've got the charm to pull it off - and no one is expecting it."
Saturday my sister came out to have lunch with us. Translation - to see her nephew. Once again we looked like 'Palace d'Insanity' when she arrived. We had the dogs running loose and both hamsters orbiting the living room freestyle in their hamster balls.
"What is that???"(pointing)
"That's Bernie Madoff"
"Actually that may be Mega - Bernie is in the orange ball. WHERE IS BERNIE MADOFF??? WE NEED TO GET READY TO GO TO LUNCH. All Hamsters go back in their CAGES!!"
20 minutes later we were caravanning to Peri Peri - the place I was making everyone go to for lunch. They have the best salads. And I hate salads. Seamus bit into his corn on the cob and - grossly enough - returned the cob to his plate with his tooth still in it. He just looked such a sight. Black eye from last week. Blood dripping from his gums. Its good that he had some product in his hair. Otherwise I just don't think it would have come across. He's so cute. I heart him. So we all agreed that they have great food. And then we all drove to Sam's Club to buy bed sheets over 450 thread count, cut flowers and easter chocolates. Necessities.
Later, while at Seamus's lacrosse game (cough - wasn't our day) Jake and Bryant went and got fixin's for quesadillia's for dinner. It was a light meal <blink>... only about 5700 calories per plate. But it was soooo goood. ugh.
We watched Tron. It was... interesting. kindof. I got bored and started washing dishes halfway through. That's never good.
Bed. Wake. Muddy dog walk around the pond. Breakfast at the diner while Seamus spends the whole time txting with yenny and sending her pictures of himself making stupid faces). Soccer game (went much better than the LAX game) (oh thank god).
Shorty and I stoopped at the garden shop where I decided not to commit to spring annuals, yet, again. (IT'S NOT TIME YET!!) Seamus stopped me in the store *asking me to take a picture of him with a weird stuffed animal great dane.
"Maybe I don't have a camera on me".
He laughed at me and began his sensitive pose with the canine contoured pillow.
I have no idea what is going on in this photo. It scares me a bit though. But I don't feel like looking directly at it. We go fertilizer and a hanging plant and decided to go home.
I saw something funny at the wine store. (not that I stopped there.)
(Just) less than $1.50 each! How could it be wrong. It has to be right. Health is very important to me. "Prevention is the Cure!"
Go home and then have what for dinner?
Yeah - more quesadillas. Besides the fact that I think I have a cold coming on - I doubt 'suicide by bad diet' is helping. And I ate it all.
I am now trying to decide what diet I am going on. I have to lose weight. I am considering using this space as a self-motivator/humliator. But I'm not sure of how I feel about people who air their dirty (calorie-laden) laundry. Plus it's nice to have photos of melted cheese. I love cheese. I can hear Bryant in the other room opening another one of those Reeses Easter peanut butter egg things. TARNATION!!!!