I was just given this by people that clearly love me.
I love it. It is a shark. It is a toy. It is technology. I would be proud to pull this out in a group and try to make people jealous of the neat little things I surround myself with.
This is one of the many delightful little favors I receive by having gained the trust of "the Commerce Girls." Much like the band alien blue people in the movie Avatar - this tribe is tall, lean, bizarrely adorned, and extremely slow to accept newcomers.
After sitting silently for 6 MONTHS at my desk... one finally spoke to me. I was conflicted as to how to respond. Being the product of a PR guy and a stewardess I was OUTRAGED at the lack of useless communication that could have transpired. The lost time. I saw them as silent, aloof jailers who knew my weakness was in not being seen or made friends with. I am - after all- still mentally in 5th grade.
But I found the way in. The key. The key to the hearts of the commerce girls was to insult them. Yep. I had only had this approach work with really large african american receptionists, previously. It showed bravery and reckless abandon, all at once. I was a stupid white girl. And I was one with it. Take me as I am. Bing - door opens and the graced light of acceptance falls upon the cheeks of my freckled face.
Well after six months of obvious hazing by this tribe - they like to leave giant open boxes in the hallway so you trip when you try to navigate by them. And when you do inevitably trip - and you will - you can hear the fierce typing of an IM joke-around. There were moments when I thought long and hard about my past as a hackers girlfriend. Powers that were ripe for abuse. But I am an adult now. Network manipulation as a form of sarcasm is behind me. I think.
Fast forward to today - where I live amognst the natives. People seek me out as a commerce translator - "Do you know those girls with the toys?" "Yes I do. I live in their village. What would you like to know?" "Does the company store ever open? I wanted to get a shirt for some visiting talent." "Interesting. What would you like? It is much easier to barter for goods if you know what you want. That is why the company store has a glass wall. So that you might see inside without it ever being open to you. I will meet with one of their captains and see what I can do for you. Do not cheat and look on the website store - the same merchandise is not in the company store. Only fools would think that. Go now."
I feel much better about my work environment now. Even though one of the jokey jokey tribes women tried to run me down in her vehicle in the HQ garage this morning. I am now smart enough to know that that is how they show love. And they now understand that me throwing my (mostly finished) latte at the grill of her shiny vehicle is my response-in-kind.