I finally got myself dressed and driven into the city Friday night for a friend’s birthday party (Happy now-belated BDAY Kim!) when I was confronted with two recurring truths.
#1 – I have no shoes that *actually fit my feet. They seem to be merely ‘close to my size’. Waxing between a size too large and a size too small. Thus making me appear as if I am a scoliosis patient that has to pee really badly. To overcome this look I always smile ‘as brightly as I can’. Because my mother was a flight attendant and - no matter what – you must smile though hardships. Even if they are self inflicted. Actually *especially if they are self inflicted.
#2 – I talk about my dog too much. In my defense – I was brought up to expertly fill any awkward conversational pauses by above noted stewardess and her husband the PR guy, as a civic first aid duty. I am here to make people comfortable and show them that I relate to them and am interested. And I am… but somehow I always end up standing somewhere, surrounded by nice, intelligent and interesting people with a picture of Hambone on my iPhone in their face. They give me the scared monkey smile I learned about on National Geographic and then their eyes yell “oh you sad scary freakish dog person, get away from me”. I am no better than a Toddlers and Tiara’s pageant mom.
(speaking of which – this is funny- and related to T&T)
While I am on the topic of Hollywood – I have to say that Charlie Sheen is MUCH more entertaining now than he ever was on that show that I never watched. He has truly embraced his shortcomings. I think more people should fire their publicists and then go on every news outlet that will look them in the face – and ‘tell it like it is’.
Note to Sheen – the LAPD have access to network news and know where you live with your seven-gram rocks, prostitutes and polygamy aspirations.
Just sayin. But you go on and have fun – I’m probably wrong.
And another star who I did not much like - John Stamos – came out with my favorite Sheen related tweet of the week:
Good stuff, no?
I'm almost sad I didn't have Charlie on my 2011 Death List. Maybe Micah can switch Martin for Charlie, as a favor to me. The points difference is huge.