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Crofton, MD, 21114

A long-running personal blog shared by two authors with completely different approaches to life. And a lot of large, beautiful photographs of dogs and nature and places we've traveled to. Rich in commentary and irreverant in style. 

Blog

We started blogging a long time ago. Our work hours never aligned with recommended psychotherapists and we needed to get our thoughts out. We are great friends, total opposites and long-time housemates. This was a way to communicate. With each other. With strangers. With consumer marketers. With sub-par meteorologists. With distant friends who wanted to see pictures of stuff we were up to.

This is the place. Our bucket of thoughts to share. You are welcome. 
(We realize that most of you are here for the dog pictures.)

Burning (Wo)man

Healey

Hambone sneaking up on sleeping geese at Louise Pond

The above picture has nothing to do with burning. As you can plainly see.

So I was just chatting with Yenny about this Boot Camp I am considering joining. There is some speculation (on everyone's part - even mine) that this may not work out. No pun intended there. Boy, that was a beautifully organic pun. Moving on. The concern is in regards to the fact that I have the health pedigree of a french automobile.

Parts are just falling off of me and the rust has gotten to a level of science fiction. So as we are considering what I could be doing while the rest of the class is jumping up and down mdoing military style calisthenics. Maybe I could do squats or something. Just thinking about this I decide to put Biofreeze (think Ben Gay made by Asians) on my right heel. Because it is fractured. And green stingy lotion will sort that out, no sweat. Whatever. I do what I can with the tools I have. I can't make my parts "un-broken." But I can't remain dormant either.

I have agreed to be at this class at 5:45 in the AM (AM!!!) tomorrow morning and I am not sure if this class is going to be a gigantic waste of time and $. Every time I think about this class I go out and buy some other apparatus to aid me. Ankle brace (not for the fractured heel foot - but for the broken ankle foot living directly opposite it), then I bought a better jog bra (cause girls who need to lose weight have jugs. plain and simple, people), then I bought some New Balance trainers that had *cushier heel support. And then a pair of exercise pants that would look great on me - if I was to attain some level of shape (so we will call these "pants for the future.")

I was explaining all this to Yenny while applying the Bio Freeze to my foot.

Then we spoke about her going on a nuro-virus infested cruise for 7 days with no wi-fi to the Caribbean (which does not have MORE wi-fi on small islands or in underwater places) - but does happily have alcohol and gambling to make up for all of these other deficiencies. She bragged about the fact that the cabin that she booked has a balcony. I mentioned that I remembered that balcony had an obstructed view (we use each other as a 'second' on travel confirmations so we know each others details in case of pirate attack). She countered proudly that the obstruction was actually that of a lifeboat. So that she was assured of her exit strategy come time for Titanic related emergencies. I commented that I have seen people enjoy themselves more at land-locked hotels for less money and without need of flotation devices or $100 a day digital/wi-fi licences. She ignored the comment. I then reached for my overpriced Kiehl's moisturizer and lathered it on as we moved the conversation to Chinese mathematics. I was curious how Chinese people say the "formula" for 100 - in the way that they would say 40 as "4-10." Would 100 be "10-10?"

Well who the fuck cares because it was at that point we stopped all the banal conversation and I just stood there looking at her.

"You saw me do that."

"Yes."

"You saw me do it and you didn't stop me."

"Nope."

"Why?"

"I dunno.. I thought maybe you wanted to do it."

"My face is fucking on FIRE Yenny."

"Well we were talking about Math and I thought you knew it was still on your hands."

"My face is en feugo. Like a gas fire. Hell fire. Angry mean hate."

"Yeah. You should wash your hands after the BioFreeze. You shouldn't put that on your face."

"I hate you."

"Meh. I can live with that. You did it to yourself."

... and that is where I am right now. Sitting here waiting for the biofreeze to stop feeding off the sensitive flesh of my face.

Boot Camp is in 7 hours.