The above picture has nothing to do with burning. As you can plainly see.
So I was just chatting with Yenny about this Boot Camp I am considering joining. There is some speculation (on everyone's part - even mine) that this may not work out. No pun intended there. Boy, that was a beautifully organic pun. Moving on. The concern is in regards to the fact that I have the health pedigree of a french automobile.
Parts are just falling off of me and the rust has gotten to a level of science fiction. So as we are considering what I could be doing while the rest of the class is jumping up and down mdoing military style calisthenics. Maybe I could do squats or something. Just thinking about this I decide to put Biofreeze (think Ben Gay made by Asians) on my right heel. Because it is fractured. And green stingy lotion will sort that out, no sweat. Whatever. I do what I can with the tools I have. I can't make my parts "un-broken." But I can't remain dormant either.
I have agreed to be at this class at 5:45 in the AM (AM!!!) tomorrow morning and I am not sure if this class is going to be a gigantic waste of time and $. Every time I think about this class I go out and buy some other apparatus to aid me. Ankle brace (not for the fractured heel foot - but for the broken ankle foot living directly opposite it), then I bought a better jog bra (cause girls who need to lose weight have jugs. plain and simple, people), then I bought some New Balance trainers that had *cushier heel support. And then a pair of exercise pants that would look great on me - if I was to attain some level of shape (so we will call these "pants for the future.")
I was explaining all this to Yenny while applying the Bio Freeze to my foot.
Then we spoke about her going on a nuro-virus infested cruise for 7 days with no wi-fi to the Caribbean (which does not have MORE wi-fi on small islands or in underwater places) - but does happily have alcohol and gambling to make up for all of these other deficiencies. She bragged about the fact that the cabin that she booked has a balcony. I mentioned that I remembered that balcony had an obstructed view (we use each other as a 'second' on travel confirmations so we know each others details in case of pirate attack). She countered proudly that the obstruction was actually that of a lifeboat. So that she was assured of her exit strategy come time for Titanic related emergencies. I commented that I have seen people enjoy themselves more at land-locked hotels for less money and without need of flotation devices or $100 a day digital/wi-fi licences. She ignored the comment. I then reached for my overpriced Kiehl's moisturizer and lathered it on as we moved the conversation to Chinese mathematics. I was curious how Chinese people say the "formula" for 100 - in the way that they would say 40 as "4-10." Would 100 be "10-10?"
Well who the fuck cares because it was at that point we stopped all the banal conversation and I just stood there looking at her.
"You saw me do that."
"You saw me do it and you didn't stop me."
"I dunno.. I thought maybe you wanted to do it."
"My face is fucking on FIRE Yenny."
"Well we were talking about Math and I thought you knew it was still on your hands."
"My face is en feugo. Like a gas fire. Hell fire. Angry mean hate."
"Yeah. You should wash your hands after the BioFreeze. You shouldn't put that on your face."
"I hate you."
"Meh. I can live with that. You did it to yourself."
... and that is where I am right now. Sitting here waiting for the biofreeze to stop feeding off the sensitive flesh of my face.
Boot Camp is in 7 hours.