For as long as I have known Yenny she has claimed that English is her second language. Actually for the first two years that I knew her everyone though she was *Polynesian. From the Big Island of Hawaii. I later found out that this information was made up by my sister (You know my sister, VP of Human Resources - the one that cares and feeds the emotional needs of her companies employees? Yeah, her). She got sick of having people ask her about where Yenny was from and she never felt like asking, I guess – so she told people she was Hawaiian – to make them go away.
But People loved this information. And Yenny never disputed it or corrected it. She would just blink at the information and walk away.
I never fell for the Hawaiian rumor, but I always wondered what percentage of her was Chinese, and what was American. I sensed she was cloaking her hatred for idiots behind a mask of China. And I was right.
But we’ve lived together for many years now and I have heard most of her childhood propaganda. Let me run trough a few of the more popular ones:
- My family is/was poor
- I don’t know English well/sometimes it escapes me altogether
- I was in ESL as a child*
- I had no toys as a child – only a pot and a wooden spoon
- My brothers and sister and I had to share a coat in the winter (that was missing a sleeve)
- I had no shoes and had to walk to school (5 miles)
- My little sister beat me and my parents didn’t care*
- My brother pretended to be adopted*
- We could not afford a television
- My grandmother (who lived with us) would run white children out of the yard with a sword*
- We had to boil all of our water before using it*
- My father almost died trying to get water from the well as a child*
- My father has a castle*
*Note that in my list above I have added an asterisk to some entries. Unfortunately those may be true.
And here is a family portrait of the time:
No. No it’s not true.
Do you want to know where she was born? It was a bit of a shorter drive than China. She was born in NYC. Granted it was Chinatown, I’ll give her that. But she grew up in FAIRFAX COUNTY. Went to school there. Went to the best high school in the country at the time. Here is Wikipedia’s take on Fairfax County.
Fairfax was the first county in the United States to reach a six-figure median household income, and has the second-highest median household income of any county with a population of 250,000 or more in the United States after neighboring Loudoun County.
The county is home to the headquarters of intelligence agencies such as the Central Intelligence Agency, National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, and National Reconnaissance Office, as well as the National Counterterrorism Center and Office of the Director of National Intelligence. The county is also home to half of the metropolitan area's Fortune 500 companies.
I feel like her family portrait would be a bit more like this:
So why the hell were these people boiling their tap water?