Due to ridiculous traffic herding me away from my normal morning 7 eleven caffeination stop - I was forced to drive all the way into work with no beverage. (water does not count)
So I got to work feeling a bit shorted. Then I got pushed into one meeting after another – forced to sit across from dozens of Starbuck’s, Caribou and Java Works cups, regaling their owners’ grasp of time management. I’d yawn and mentally insult these people based on either their electronics or their high school handwriting to pass the time.
Later – while unsupervised – I found that I had a tenner in my back pocket... and 30 minutes before my next meeting. I was (temporarily) FREE! I took the elevator down and excitedly power walked across the street to Starbucks to treat myself.
I’m not a normal member of the “Starbuck’s Fellows Association”. You can tell by when I order and I have to anxiously look at the menu board looming above their bored unhelpful faces to concoct my order. Actually just wanting a cup of coffee but suddenly wondering what that says about me. I admire the glistening white cup with the kaki waffled waistband – it is a cup that amusingly seems to have posture AND even sometimes has coffee in it. So it’s a nice momentary accessory for multiple reasons.
But then the problem arises. After having made a brief stop at the fixin’s bar, when I am finally out of the shop, standing on the sidewalk … I taste the coffee. And I dislike it. And then I look up from the cup with that urine face. I just spent $4 on hot acidic brown water with splenda.
I walk back to the building wondering to myself why 7eleven has better coffee for less. It's a paradox. Is it that they make it more often? What time is it? I have 12 minutes to get to my desk – get my shit – drink more of this piss coffee and get up to the 9th floor. As I am at the crosswalk waiting for the light to be in my favor with my cup of atonement, I look up at the building. When will I win the lottery, quit my job, lose my credibility and all respect of friends I didn’t pay off, get bored and wish I had my job back again? When will that process start? I plan to insert a lavish vacation to Europe in there somewhere, too, that will likely “fly by”. I looked down into the open window of the Maxima directly in front of me, having just stopped for the light. As I am thinking “These people have poor style and taste in music” the one in the passenger seat throws their cigarette butt out the window. At me. Granted it was inadvertent. But my body reacted before I could get fully focused on what was happening. As I stepped off the curb to cross the street with the 8 other people crossing – I reached down to the still smoking butt that had rolled off my shoe… and threw it back into their car.
I don’t know. I don’t know why I did it. And if I had even a fragment of brain activity going on, I would not have thrown it between them into their back seat. But I did. And when I finally caught up with myself – I just giggled. What the fuck? Hahah… Yes, I used to smoke. And I loved it. But one thing I always hated was being such a fricking litterbug. But do not be fooled… none of this was on my mind. Nothing was on my mind truthfully. This was like a knee jerk roller derby move. A two-step block that your body just does to make things right.
I looked away from the erupting chaos inside the Maxima into the face of some guy who happened to be crossing the street with me. He was incredulous. We both laughed wordlessly. I did the “I dunno” smile/shoulder shirk and on we went.
Never looking back to the car (though I was getting audible highlights) I reached the other side of the street. Threw my shitty coffee in to the trashcan and proceeded back into the building to work.