I keep feeling like we are harboring someone who has just come off a tour with like U2, or something. I worry about being too loud. Moving too much. I feel he needs serenity. Well he came to the wrong frickin house – I can tell you that much. It is just impossible for our group to be quiet. Try as we may.
Dogs jumping up and down – people coming and going “Oh hey Jackie what are doing over here? great – come on in – we were just clog dancing over the guest room. Want to play the drums or something? Break some glass? Use a revolver?”
It’s just not our natural state...to be quiet. Oh well. I went out at lunch an bought roller skates – no not to *specifically make his stay with us more like torture. I went to Roller Derby yesterday and I had a revelation. I like roller skating. I like hitting people. I like sparkly clothes and tattoo’s. Well it’s a gimme, no? So I came home and Mica had just given up - he was wandering the halls. Ready for the next auditory assault. He sat with me as I giddily put on my new skates and skated around the house. I kept passing the kitchen where I trapped the dogs (we have dutch doors so I can wave as I roll by). The dogs were like “I need to warn you – there is a – come back here! There is a strange black man wandering around the house!! How are you moving like that?? Listen to ME!! A STRANGER! IN THE HOUSE!! NOW! You are SUCH AN IDIOT! Stop smiling at me as you float by! Why are you so much taller?? WHAT IS GOING ON TODAY???”
Well it’s a Jewish day of Atonement.
But there are no definitive reasons why you can’t fit the fault in on the day that you make amends for it. Kinda like drive-through spiritual healing.
We’re watching World Series Poker on TV. (Yeah – our TV is big…so basically Mica hasn’t left Las Vegas. We’ve been back there for about an hour. He and Bryant are hanging out talking about these players like they are best buddies. I begin to suspect that there is a lot of my boyfriends TV viewing that I am not privy to. Damn narcolepsy.
People are beginning to suspect that I am considering going to Roller Derby Boot Camp. Okay..maybe I am. It just sounds like so much fun. And I get a new name and a different outfit. It’s like First Communion – but with beer and sparkles.
For the moment the only Roller name I can come up with is “Mickey Dismantle”. It’s a work in progress. In the mean time I need to skate all day, every day to get back into shape. My plan (to not look gay) is to use the Thor as cover. I figure everyone has seen the dog whisperer and understands that people buy skates to exercise fat dogs that need to run. I happen to have a fat(ish) dog. So just call me Cesar Millan.
I’ll keep you updated with our progress.