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Crofton, MD, 21114

A long-running personal blog shared by two authors with completely different approaches to life. And a lot of large, beautiful photographs of dogs and nature and places we've traveled to. Rich in commentary and irreverant in style. 


We started blogging a long time ago. Our work hours never aligned with recommended psychotherapists and we needed to get our thoughts out. We are great friends, total opposites and long-time housemates. This was a way to communicate. With each other. With strangers. With consumer marketers. With sub-par meteorologists. With distant friends who wanted to see pictures of stuff we were up to.

This is the place. Our bucket of thoughts to share. You are welcome. 
(We realize that most of you are here for the dog pictures.)

It's a book club no really


So there are a lot of really ugly kids in Crofton.  I’m trying to decide why that is.
I mean I have a kid – sure. And he went through a few ugly stages – mostly due to having a careless parent (not me) continually bringing him to hair cuttery and wal-mart for his personal styling. You will understand that I did not condone this behavior and the child was redressed and hair gelled immediately upon arriving at my doorstep. Like he had fleas.

But with some of the kids in Crofton…the ugliness cannot be so easily removed. They have what I will call “the stink aura”. {note illustration above} A hatefulness that is deep-seeded and violent. And it’s weird…cause most often their parent looks totally normal. And by that I mean a woman of attractive size and shape that looks like she intellectually peaked in high school, actively uses a bedazzler and now answers phones over at the local Long Fence office. Basically the type of woman that would just hate me.

Does hate me.

What do I care? I have spent most of my life trying to explain certain truths about women to my heartbroken guy friends. “Girls can be really mean.” “They honestly want you to just tell them how nice they look and then give them stuff for no reason. And then some more stuff. Then they will rub your neck for 30 seconds and want you to take them to dinner. A nice dinner.” Largely what my guy friends have gotten out of any semi-functional relationship is a little sex and a lot of bad conversation.

I do have girl friends, too. But these women seem to be the exception. (Mostly). But it’s hard not to notice that they are unable to find someone that will stick. Or someone at all.  (I should note that the Washington DC area is not really the harvest fields of strapping single heterosexual men) I think the last ration I heard was something like 7 women to each man. Yikes. And you will want to note that 5 out of the 7 men are GORGEOUS…but gay. So it’s sad.

I feel like I should be cultivating new relationships with my female friends. I want to see my city girlfriends more – and meet some more suburban women (to improve my opinion of women outside of the city).

So I am going to start a group. Two groups, actually. The same type of group in two different places. One in DC and one in Crofton. I am kind of modeling this group off of my mother’s groups in Annapolis. She belongs to these book clubs. They are a very intelligent group of ladies who have fabulous houses and are always just back from Egypt or Hong Kong or somewhere exotic. They get together once a month to see who read the book, talk about the book for about 15 minutes and then just drink wine and look at each others stuff for the next hour or so. It all sounds terribly civilized.

Well I am going to be upfront and say...I’m never going to read the damn book. I have a hard enough time trying to read an entire issue of People Magazine. I just work. And any free time I have is spent chasing one of the living things I harbor in this house  - or going out with friends. So screw the damn book. But without the book I think people would have a tough time making the excuse to go. So I kept “book” in the naming of the group – possibly because it looked more sophisticated than “Cranky bitches getting their drink on while hunting cheese and carbs”.

I opted for “My Fake Book Club”. And I was lucky enough to get the URL. So it’s set in stone. So now I will make a website and then I will worry about who would ultimately interested in participating. Cause that how I roll. Totally backwards and with poor tread on the tires. Rock on.

So it’s a new endeavor. Who knows what will happen. At least I’ll get to see a few people and have a drink or two. Hopefully someone else will drink too much and say something completely inappropriate. That reminds me of someone who I should invite. J

Buyer BewareBe careful around even the sweetest looking drunk girls. We all remember college.