So I shop online. I mean sure – if they are going to give me free shipping. I send it to my office instead of my home, thus avoiding the yellow post-it of death on my front door telling me that due to the fact that I am currently employed I will not be able to collect my package until …well until I take the day off work and bow to their schedules. Yes, then in that equation I enjoy purchasing things online.
But some of these websites have just gotten totally whack.
I can’t shop there because they give me anxia. Everything is moving all over the place. All of the models look like heroin addicts. Shit I can’t wear the same clothes they do.
Here is my current example:
I was reading about what the buzz was in Cannes last month and the sip was that there is a very hot clothing lineout of Japan with temporary locations in NYC. Brands name is UNIQLO. Don’t ask me how to pronounce that ..it’s like the club sandwich of names. Vowel –consonant- vowel-consonant…whatever. Well the toothpick of that sandwich is their website. It’s dizzying.
“well that doesn’t look too bad”, he says.
Sure. Do me this little favor…navigate your way to the No stitch leather belt for men.
Uh huh. ….yeah. not so easy now, is it?
I’ve got bloody vertigo trying to keep up with the fleece jumpers. Nuts.
Actually this site looks like the bastard son of my favorite brainiacs of 2002. Yugop.
Looks like someone finally found a semi-practical application for their mathematical flash scripting. (note: when on their website – if you ever become confused as to what is going on…which will happen…move your mouse all over like a lunatic. It will reveal the “genius”). Another thing about yugop, and UNIQLO as well, is this sound that they play for movement. The little click click to prove to you audibly that you just moved your mouse. Something about that sound is stealing my soul. Sucking the life out of me like an Azkabanian Dementor. And then there is another track on the Yugop site that gives you the feeling that you have just awoken in the ICU. Not sure what your life is like ..but these sounds don’t gel well with me. Somehow it only works in the songs of Craig Armstrong. But he’s cool…so that is different. Totally different.
Long and short of it is that I think we should work harder to make websites less like finding a bee in your pants.